Day 116- 4/27/11 Burning a Marshmallow Peep

Day 116: 4/27/11
New Thing: Burning a Pack of Peeps
Inspiration: Peeps, Dad        
Cost: $0
Time: 5 minuets of my life I will never get back.                  
Bottom Line: Stupid Peeps!

Oh, the humanity!

Karma police; arrest that bird!

Reflection: I am generally a pretty easy going person. Yet there is one thing that I absolutely cannot abide: the dreaded Marshmallow Peep. They are puffed evil and their beady, black little eyes are soulless testaments to that fact. They are the most unnatural of food stuffs with even their coloring being a stain for the eyes. It would be hard to understand just how much I dislike this evil concoction. For example, when I learned that I would be going to college in the same town that they were made in, I thought about transferring--seriously. To make matters worse, people in my dorm thought it was hysterical to leave these things all over my doorway in a little twisted parade of some kind. When I was a Resident Director living on the first floor of Main Hall of Moravian College, I would often walk into my living room to find the head of a giant Peep gazing in at me from the street as if to taunt me. It was the yellow Volkswagen that the Just Born company had fashioned into a large drivable Peep and then drove around town subjecting poor, unsuspecting citizens like myself to unspeakable horrors. It would always start my day off on the wrong foot.

So of course, knowing all this, my father thought it would be funny to bring a pack of these awful things into my home for Easter.  What a droll wit.

Instead of merely tossing them out, I decided to put them to work for this blog--by burning the little suckers for their crimes against humanity and all things good and pure in this world. I was looking forward to this--even if is meant I would have to touch them. But they couldn't even burn correctly! I tried all of my girl scout fire starting methods, including using a self-starting charcoal baroque--and they just wouldn't burn. This, of course, prove that they are made with black witchcraft. So, instead of wasting any more time on these things, I simply stomped them flat and then called it a night. Bye, bye Peeps!